TL;DR: Halo 5: Guardians

Just like last week, I’m reviewing the newest title in a long series that probably should have ended several games ago. Halo 5 is the newest entry in the amazing sci-fi shooter blah, blah, blah. If you have purchased every generation of the Xbox because of this series then you are already playing this game. I don’t even know why a game as anticipated as Halo 5 needs any reviews. Even if it is horrible it will sell millions and the multiplayer servers will be filled with eager fans. Regardless, here we go. The single player is underwhelming despite being built with co-op in mind. The story is blatant and dull and has serious issues with pacing. It seems like this is a knee jerk reaction to criticisms about Halo 4’s incomprehensible narrative, but they jumped from one end of the spectrum to the other. Maybe Halo 6 will be somewhere in between Dr. Seuss and James Joyce. The multiplayer is your standard fare of shooting bullets and plasma at people in space armor. Except there are microtransactions for blind booster packs and nobody seems upset about this. I guess that rare space armor is glittery enough to divert the attention of millions as their wallets are slowly emptied. God forbid EA try to do something like this (*cough cough* Dead Space 3, Mass Effect 3).  Oh, and Halo 5’s new mechanics all seem to emulate stuff from Destiny. This includes the shoulder charge, ground pound, and hovering when you aim down the sights in midair. Unless you’re a diehard Halo fan, feel free to skip out on this mild update. I’d even suggest to the fans to find something better to play.

Score: Robot Stare Down

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